I inherited (and embraced) an important member of my grandmother’s life – one of her “friends”.

Now, I can hear the knee slapping laughter among my family here in the Midwest and in the South. (Pardon me a moment while I whisk laughing tears from my own eyes.)

There are many Grandma stories and some are way more hilarious than others, but one that pertains to my new foster child comes to mind.  It went something like this:

The phone rings, my Aunt Terri picks up the receiver, “Hello?” There is a professional tone to her voice because she did work for Illinois Bell for many years.

“Och! Teresa! Someone has stolen my friends!” The distress in Grandma’s voice is quite apparent. I imagine she is sitting on her gossip bench, one hand over her heart, willing it to settle down. Her head is shaking back and forth, part early signs of Parkinson’s and part disbelief that she has become a victim of such a horrendous crime! I’m quite sure the silence on the other end of the phone never enters her mind.

Once my aunt has regained her composure from the shock and confusion, the only thing she can utter is, “Are you sure?”

We know it’s quite evident that her friends positioned carefully in the back yard, but what does one say?

Did you find a ransom note?

Maybe they went for a beer and pizza.

Could they be on strike for less fertilizer and softer water?

I know, they’re on a scavenger hunt!

Perhaps they were rounded up and put on the paddy wagon, because of the growing concern for their well-being during the hostage crisis next door. (A reference to another hilarious moment in her life.)

In the end, they were replaced, but never the same to her like her “real” friends.

The point is, we will never know where they actually went, but I like to think those gnomes are a bunch of tricksters. Why, when it was clear my new yard partner was too heavy to move, I placed him near the peonies to play peek-a-boo. This morning, now that the snow had fully retreated, I caught him leaning against the pine tree that was planted a year ago.

So what do I call my little lawn elf?

So, I’m putting it out there  – send me your suggestions!

Help me gname the gnome!

-mb