Hi there.

I’ve been watching you lately, and it’s time I call you out for your deceptive practices. Truth be told, you aren’t fooling anybody.

For the past few weeks, you’ve blatantly ignored the calendar, our sacred groundhog Phil, and swept across our homes with ferocious winds, blinding snow and your favorite tool of torture – ice. Sometimes you would sneak in from the north, making Canada look like the culprit. Again, we saw through your plans to over extend your stay.

Just look at all the destruction you’ve caused!  Floods, hundred car pile ups where people were injured and even died. You are an omnipresent weapon of mass destruction.

But no more!

Congress decided this weekend is ‘spring back’ time. With this decree, they are compelling you to leave and let your sister Spring take over. You’re no longer welcome. In fact, if I could banish you for a few years because of the cruelty you’ve shown us this season, I would. However, that position is above my pay grade.

This expulsion needs to be a clean break – no waving at us this month or the next three months. Every time you do, snow falls from your fingertips.

You, dear Winter, should take this Congressional decree and RUN! They don’t mess around – well okay they do, but since they complete so little in the course of their tenure, you should know this decree stands and has stood for some time – whenever it was they decided they should mess with our sleep cycles.

After all you did this season, you’re probably burned out. I see a three month stay in Florida would be good for you about now.

So, good-bye, farewell, adios, adieu Winter, it’s time for you to go.

– me